I am a sharer; of information, music, books, websites, the way a colour, a sound, a smell sparks memories I had long forgotten; of emotion, of all the little moments that make up my day. I wish you were a giver of yourself in that way too.
I am prone to addiction. Whether it is cigarettes, a book, a song, a show a boy. I wish you were addicted to all those things too. Including me.
I am a bit of a dork (Usually in social situations. I hide it well so I look like a snob. But really. I am just hiding my inner, inner dork) and a geek (I spend far too much time on the internet and I google EVERYTHING!) and a nerd (I read the thesaurus. ‘Nuff said). I wish you were a series of secret quirks too.
In love, I am fiery. I’ll snap at you if I am hungry. But, I’ll also let you have the last slice of pizza. I’ll push and pull to make you notice me. I will insinuate. I will give without thought and then demand it all back. I–sometimes–wish that you were just as flawed.
I may appear weak. But, I am strong. You think I will only admire your strength. I won’t. I wish you were confident enough to let me into your weakness.
In forgiveness, I forget. I don’t give second chances because stupidly enough you will always be on your first. I wish you were just as naive with your heart.
I am proportionately whole. So, I really wish you were neither an ass man nor a boob man.
In the first few months of an affair, I am focused. If you are on my mind, you are the only thing on my mind. I wish you were capable of relinquishing control in that way too.
I am logical. But only when it suits me. I wish you were logical too. But, of course, only when it suits me.
In pursuit, I am playful. If my friends would let me? I would send notes to men across crowded rooms asking them multiple choice questions like,
“If I were to give you my number right now, how many days would it take you to call me?”
a) Days? I’d call you in a matter of hours, baby.
b) Three days. I enjoy acting like I don’t care.
c) I don’t accept the premise of your question. (Which is to say: Please don’t give me your number. Chances are I’m not going to use it and I’m already on The Universe’s black list for not calling that blond chick from last week.)
I wish you thought this was cute and I wish you would want to play with me.
But of all these things I am, what I really wish you were is quite simple.
I just wish you were.
12 responses so far ↓
Peter // May 14, 2008 at 3:00 pm
“I am prone to addiction. Whether it is cigarettes, a book, a song, a show a boy. I wish you were addicted to all those things too. Including me.”
If he was also addicted to a boy, wouldn’t that be another problem to deal with?
Hope // May 14, 2008 at 3:43 pm
OK, so I wouldn’t want him addicted to a boy OR cigarettes for that matter.
Gah. Bad sentence.
kristin // May 14, 2008 at 4:01 pm
i LOVE this. really and truly.
and the “i am a bit of a dork” clause is totally me as well. as well as the fact that every chance i give seems to be a first too.
really, where is that guy?
tiff // May 14, 2008 at 5:19 pm
I too am prone to addiction, as I am addicted to the way you put the thoughts of the masses so beautifully.
distracted spunk // May 14, 2008 at 6:08 pm
I had been rolling around the idea of writing out what it is I want in a guy for a while now. I think it’s so much of what you wrote here, with only a few changes. I love how you phrased it differently than “I want someone who…” which seems so obvious. Well done, miss.
bloggingbarbie // May 14, 2008 at 6:43 pm
yet another amazing post, hope. and once again, i could totally identify.
shocking, i know.
he’s out there, somewhere. why? because hope dies last.
xoxo, b
freeandflawed // May 14, 2008 at 7:37 pm
Once again, I really loved this post. I hope there’s more than one of him out there so I can find him too :)
Ashley // May 14, 2008 at 9:19 pm
you will find him….it’s always when you stop looking, when you least expect it, that the person you never knew existed falls into your life.
great post, as always :)
Ashley // May 14, 2008 at 10:51 pm
Seriously? This post was amazing. I could relate on every. single. level. Especially in regards to my situation with D.
He’s out there. One who is all of this and MORE than you ever imagined.
libby // May 15, 2008 at 6:48 am
loved this. you are so aware of yourself. and i’m in awe.
i identify especially with the inner dork. my mother is forever telling me i look so closed off and unfriendly but it’s because i’m hiding how lame i actually am.
Essentially Me // May 15, 2008 at 7:12 am
Peter, Peter … you and your observations!
Beautifully written Hope. As usual. :)
My Relationship Personality « This? Is Not the Life I Ordered! // May 15, 2008 at 6:47 pm
[...] Relationship Personality I was inspired by Hope’s beautifully written post from yesterday. Thank you Hope for your continuously amazing [...]
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