I am a sharer; of information, music, books, websites, the way a colour, a sound, a smell sparks memories I had long forgotten; of emotion, of all the little moments that make up my day. I wish you were a giver of yourself in that way too.
I am prone to addiction. Whether it is cigarettes, a book, a song, a show a boy. I wish you were addicted to all those things too. Including me.
I am a bit of a dork (Usually in social situations. I hide it well so I look like a snob. But really. I am just hiding my inner, inner dork) and a geek (I spend far too much time on the internet and I google EVERYTHING!) and a nerd (I read the thesaurus. ‘Nuff said). I wish you were a series of secret quirks too.
In love, I am fiery. I’ll snap at you if I am hungry. But, I’ll also let you have the last slice of pizza. I’ll push and pull to make you notice me. I will insinuate. I will give without thought and then demand it all back. I–sometimes–wish that you were just as flawed.
I may appear weak. But, I am strong. You think I will only admire your strength. I won’t. I wish you were confident enough to let me into your weakness.
In forgiveness, I forget. I don’t give second chances because stupidly enough you will always be on your first. I wish you were just as naive with your heart.
I am proportionately whole. So, I really wish you were neither an ass man nor a boob man.
In the first few months of an affair, I am focused. If you are on my mind, you are the only thing on my mind. I wish you were capable of relinquishing control in that way too.
I am logical. But only when it suits me. I wish you were logical too. But, of course, only when it suits me.
In pursuit, I am playful. If my friends would let me? I would send notes to men across crowded rooms asking them multiple choice questions like,
“If I were to give you my number right now, how many days would it take you to call me?”
a) Days? I’d call you in a matter of hours, baby.
b) Three days. I enjoy acting like I don’t care.
c) I don’t accept the premise of your question. (Which is to say: Please don’t give me your number. Chances are I’m not going to use it and I’m already on The Universe’s black list for not calling that blond chick from last week.)
I wish you thought this was cute and I wish you would want to play with me.
But of all these things I am, what I really wish you were is quite simple.
I just wish you were.
