…it was–just a smidgeon–easier to believe in the promise of tomorrow. Now, it takes a lot to believe that out of every end, another beginning is just around a shadowed corner.
…it was just a little easier to believe that they’ll always be someone, if not better, at least someone else. There’s plenty of fish in the sea, they say. I’ve only ever met one other person who scoffs at that statement as I do. That simply has not been my experience. We used to compete me and her. We would sit in a dark room because neither of us had thought to switch on any lights. The sun would set outside and we would argue,
“I’m going to end up like Ally McBeal.”
“No, I’m going to be like Ally McBeal.”
We’re still both single. Our prophecy might very well come true.
…I could drink all night, sleep for three hours and still make it to a nine o’clock lecture in the morning. Now, just sleeping half an hour past my bed time wreaks havoc on my next day.
…I wanted to be taken seriously. Being taken seriously is highly overrated.
…I thought I had so much time to do all the things I wanted to do. Time passed and I still want to do all those things.
…I yearned to live alone, free from the compromising nature of roommates. Now, I get lonely. Cooking for one is really no fun.
…I acted like marriage and children were not for me, not my style. I was stupid.
…I had an unwavering belief that I would know, by now, what I wanted. It’s clearer. But, I’m still searching.
…I thought I would always be able to predict my own behaviour, that there are absolute rights and absolute wrongs. Grey, it turns out, suits me far better.
…I thought I would not be able to live without Friends, Sex and the City and Frasier. I did.
…I wanted to be someone important, someone who changed lives, someone who did something valuable. Now, I have smaller goals like being a good neighbour. And remembering to call my mother.
One week from today, I will no longer be in my early twenties. I won’t even be in my mid-twenties. No doubt about it, I’ll be entering my late twenties.
And I’m not too happy about it.
15 responses so far ↓
tiff // April 4, 2008 at 8:48 pm
I’ve been here awhile…. they aren’t so bad, I promise!
Sil // April 4, 2008 at 8:51 pm
19 days from today… I will also be entering my late twenties…
I’ll be raising at glass for you :)
Fritz // April 4, 2008 at 8:56 pm
i never thought i would even make it to my late twenties and soon i will have to say goodbye to them, be grateful you havent found a gray hair… i think i may have…
Jess // April 4, 2008 at 9:02 pm
I decided that turning 24 marked me shifting into mid-twenties from early twenties. And that felt weird to me. I imagine that late twenties will feel even weirder.
Still, though. You might not be too happy about it, but look how much you’ve learned! Your late twenties will be great to you.
Chris // April 4, 2008 at 10:14 pm
“I never feel a day over 24…”
Just remember that. You wrote it, after all.
Shavon // April 4, 2008 at 11:36 pm
“I had an unwavering belief that I would know, by now, what I wanted. It’s clearer. But, I’m still searching.”
I’m going to be 28 in 4 months, and I still don’t know what I want to do. But it’s also a blessing to know that you have possibilities, and that you will someday marvel at the journey.
thenextfish // April 5, 2008 at 1:36 am
Up until a year or two back I still thought I wanted to be the Ally McBeal type… fiercely independent, revelling in my serial monogamy, and creating a family without dependence on a man. I turned 28 this year and I’ve now admitted to myself that while I’ll probably never get married I DO want that kind of love and commitment. It’s hard admitting you’re not the person you thought you were but I think it’s a sign of maturity too. I’m sure if you met your 23 year old self you’d be pretty happy with how far you’ve come.
Trigger // April 5, 2008 at 1:41 am
I hear you on this one. I’ll turn 25 in a few months. That weirds me out. I feel like I haven’t accomplished nearly what I thought I would by now…but I have done some other interesting things I never expected. I try to remember that when I get to concerned about life.
I hope that you are making some fun birthday plans, to enjoy the day and not just worry about it!
Essentially Me // April 5, 2008 at 6:22 am
I’m holding on to my late twenties for dear life.
Queen // April 5, 2008 at 8:44 am
there are always things that make you feel as though you havent done much in your life. even those who have accomplished something all these years, feel at times as though there is so much to still be done.
late twenties isnt bad, its not miserable, its simply another age gap which you are entering and my advice is to make it unforgetable. whichever way you choose.
Froggy // April 6, 2008 at 1:17 am
I’m actually a fan of my late 20s. Welcome to fold! :)
And just so you know, Ally McBeal (aka Calista Flockhart) got herself a new series where she married Rob Lowe… so perhaps there really *is* a happy ending out there waiting for each of us.
But I still agree that that “plenty of fish in the sea” line is phooey. What good is a fish when what I really want is a dolphin?
Stephanie // April 6, 2008 at 1:33 am
Here’s to hoping your late twenties will be even better than your early ones!
Jamie // April 7, 2008 at 7:13 pm
I’m in the early 2os and very much relate to the list you wrote. Time, it seems, does go too fast. I really enjoyed this post.
Princess Pointful // April 8, 2008 at 9:48 am
We’re always trying to insert symbolism into our ages, it seems… I don’t know if it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy or not!
pin // April 9, 2008 at 2:59 pm
in your early twenties i think you werent half the person and woman you are now so you know…late twenties is good man!!!